Yes, it’s my blog and I plan to whine!
So I trudge my rump down to Ridgewood, NJ, today to buy my favorite cupcakes. I battle the happy and oh-so-annoying early Holiday shoppers, teens with nothing better to do, and a town that has a parking meter and painted spots on every available free space the eye can see (none of which are currently empty). I finally park, shake off the road rage that I do not suffer from, and gleefully trod my way to the best cupcake shop on the planet.
They have a plethora of new flavors I have yet to try… hmm, what do I do? I have my favorites, but the new one’s look sooo yummy! I decide to go for it!
I buy 1 Pumpkin cupcake (having Charlie Brown flashbacks at the register); 1 Eggnog cupcake (this could be proof that Santa exists); and 2 of my old standby fav’s – Blackout (no one rationed with enough chocolate has ever lost a war – I believe this to be fact, not opinion). I drive all the way back home anticipating an afternoon of glutenous pleasure. The normal array of idiots on the road don’t even bother me my level of excitement is so high!
I get in (snuggle, love my new bestie – Trunko), crack open the tantalizing cache of sugary goodness only to find that my Pumpkin cupcake is really spice cake with walnuts added to it and orange frosting, and the Eggnog cupcake is a yellow cake with white filling (I’m sure they’d prefer I call it vanilla, but that would imply flavor – there was none) with a lime flavored icing. WTF???
People, for the love of what ever you hold sacred, please, please – beg the universe to STOP FUCKING WITH MY EXPECTATIONS! I think it was cruel of them to do this to me. I must now venture outside yet again to eat the heads off small furry forest creatures to rectify their blunder (honestly, they have no one to blame but themselves). Plus I will need to devour a chocolate cupcake so that I may attain a Zen state of being again. (which I was blissfully wallowing in before they fucked with me!)
Sometimes, the world is just a mean and cruel place!